If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I faked an abortion last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
