Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
