I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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