i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When are your genitals available?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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