Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
