so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
