Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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