i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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