dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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