dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
foreskin is a definite game changer
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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