I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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