U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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