If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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