is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize