so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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