Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
