There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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