That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize