he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
