So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
