Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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