My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
