Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
