they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
