I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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