He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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