too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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