Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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