I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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