I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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