Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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