how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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