i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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