: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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