dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
