This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize