ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
