life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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