ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
