Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
