omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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