That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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