Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
