If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
