It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
