Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
