Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
