i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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