im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
