all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
