Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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