i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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