Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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