Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
