Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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