Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I supernannyed him into submission
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