So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
