thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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