She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
