Will you blow on my dice?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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