Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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