I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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