I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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