omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We have started to decorate penises.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
