CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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