why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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