great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
