I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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