Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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