the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
